Current mood:

amused

On Gift Cards
Screw every asshat that says gift cards are impersonal and lack vision or forethought. That comes across as a sarcastic, crass, post-modern version of the old adage "it's the thought that counts". How cynical... and typically right up my alley. And while I do think there's truth in the aged saying, I find the line of thought about gift cards to be wildly off-base.

Here's four examples from this Christmas:

• Being a little late in gifting this year, I was hard-pressed to find some of the specific items I wanted to purchase and rather than do consolation prizes - this isn't Jeopardy!, after all - I chose gift cards to the stores where the unavailable items could eventually be purchased.
  
  I acknowledged that I wanted to get them a specific gift - and if I must give specifics, I told my brother I wanted to get him The Force Unleashed for Wii or PS3 and two of the local Best Buys were sold out - and gave the gift card in it's place. Is that impersonal? I don't think so. It allows the individual to either make the same purchase I wished to make for them or to make a different purchase without the hassle of doing a "this asshat doesn't know me, why would I ever want this crap" gift receipt exchange.
  
  
• The gift card is a great gift when you know the giftee loves a particular store but you don't know why. This might be able to go without explanation, but as I love to explain, I will. A particular person may enjoy the fashions of H&M and do much of their clothes shopping there. I personally find H&M to be crap that falls apart after a single run through the wash. But if said person loves the fashions at H&M and I do not, why should I make some sort of shot-in-the-dark guess at what they may like? That doesn't make sense to me, so enters the gift card: It allows me to acknowledge "Hey, I know you absolutely love the low quality of the hipster shit from H&M" without adding any personal twist on the choice. In this instance, it's about giving choice... but then, wasn't that the bottom line of the first bullet above?
  
  
• The gift card doesn't have to be used tomorrow (though, with the sales it might be a good idea). I might give my mom a lovely dress for Christmas. What if it's a summer dress that: 1) isn't appropriate - obviously - until summer; 2) doesn't fit come summer; 3) is totally out of fashion when June hits. The gift card allows mom to have something in her purse that, come June, gives her the opportunity to say "That dress is hot" and make the perfect purchase for the time. It also then allows her - as my mom has done on occasion in the past - to call me months after receiving a gift card to say "Thank you for the new dress" which leads to confused silence on my end of the receiver before she explains "I used the gift card you gave me."
  
  You know what, it's a wonderful feeling getting a call in April from mom saying "thanks for buying me this pair of shoes" from a gift card given in November for her birthday.
  
  
• Lastly, on the receiving end, two gift cards came into my position this Christmas: Kohl's and Home Depot... And I am thrilled to have received both of them. Sure, Dark Knight on DVD was great, and new socks and undershirts were (expected - as in, every year - yet) greatly appreciated, but a gift card to Home Depot - NOW that's something I could find a million ways to use! With the new house, I need a new grill (the gift card, used in full, could pay for 1/3 of a good grill) or I could get replacement CFLs for the entire house meaning an energy savings in 2 years greater than the value of the original gift card (yes, I'm a dork, I did the math) or it could pay for my half of the tall extension ladder we are going in on with our neighbors Bill & Aric (for such things as emptying gutters and the like) or it could mean some much needed backyard landscaping gets done. Honestly, I don't mean to geek out (or flame on) about the possibilities, but a gift card to Homo Depot opens up so many opportunities to flex my masculinity.
  
  And then I remember there's a gift card to Kohl's... and I do like nice (yet comfortable) pants... and I'm reminded I'm the gay for liking nice (yet comfortable) pants and suddenly that whole Home-Depot-masculinity-thing becomes some kind of Freudian joke. I think.

Gift cards. Forget the conventional wisdom; there's a reason we buy and give so many of them: Because they are quintessentially American: providing freedom to buy what you want!

And isn't that what America - and Christmas - are all about?